


His Master's Touch

by BFHwantsblood, Olivier_Mira



Category: Noblesse (Manhwa)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 06:56:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17913977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BFHwantsblood/pseuds/BFHwantsblood, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olivier_Mira/pseuds/Olivier_Mira
Summary: Frankenstein loses himself. Rai finds him.





	His Master's Touch

Even before Gejutel had left, Frankenstein could feel himself starting to overload. It was getting harder and harder to control those precise movements that he had painstakingly taught himself. He wanted to tap and move his arms around so badly, to relieve some of the burgeoning tension.  
  
To do that he would have to escape the room, but he couldn’t escape just yet. The kids were still shaken from Gejutel’s surprise visit. They needed him in the room to help them relax, even if it meant sitting through the flashes of lightning and deafening thunder. Gejutel _would_ have to pick an evening wracked with thunderstorms. It was just like him.

Frankenstein really was doing his best to appear normal, but when he was triggered, like he was right now, sudden loud noises like thunder were _not good._ It took every ounce of his considerable control not to drop into a crouch and summon the Dark Spear. The horribly loud sounds banged around in his head, making it feel as though it were going to explode. Every hair on the back of his neck stood up.

The lightning was no better. Each flash of blinding light not only hurt his eyes, but it turned the world into a nightmare. He tried not to think about it, but he remembered all too well those years he spent alone, when his Master was gone. Wandering the wilderness, raw and exposed to the elements… He once stood on a mountaintop in the middle of a tempest such as this one, half hoping that lightning would strike him dead and end his unrelenting misery, taking the choice out of his hands. Lightning had no mercy: it struck at random and it revealed all. It felt like the sudden lights were trying to surround him, giving him no place to hide.

Frankenstein was greatly relieved when the kids finally decided to call it a night. _Escape, at last._ Giving a small nod to his Master, whom he did _not_ want to bother with this, Frankenstein left the room at not quite a run. The loudest crash of thunder seemed to chase him into the elevator as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep it together. _Just a few minutes more…_  
  
His clothes seemed to be scratching into his skin as he waited for the elevator. He wanted to shred them, but the thought of having no weight on him at all made him want to scream.  
  
This was bad. He was bad. _Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad._  
  
What people didn’t understand about what it was like when he was _like this_ was that every single goddamned thing suddenly became utterly unbearable. The lights in his laboratory, which normally didn’t bother him, were suddenly violently assaulting his senses. It made him squeeze his eyes closed, but even that wasn’t enough. His hand shot out and fumbled for the switch, plunging him into darkness that was only mildly relieving.  
  
Frankenstein quickly made his way through the laboratory and into the soundproof room he had made for himself. Shredding his clothes, he flung himself onto the floor mattress, pulling the heavy blanket around himself. It had softened with age and its weight was just perfect against his skin. It helped to stop his body from shaking, but his thoughts were still going like a broken record.  
  
_Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad._  
  
He couldn’t do anything right. He hadn’t been able to be there for Ragar’s passing. Didn’t get to say goodbye because he couldn’t handle it, because he was so screwed up. _Wrong. Bad. Horrible. Monster._ That’s what they had called him. _Monster._  
  
He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth, trying to get something, anything out. Trying to get it all to stop. He needed it all to _stop._

 _Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad._  
  
Master had left because Frankenstein was _bad._ Master would leave him again because he was _bad._ Master would become disgusted with him and he would leave. It was only a matter of time. Everyone left eventually, when they found out who he really was. What he was really like.  
  
Frankenstein gripped at his hair, trying to stop the endless torrent of evil thoughts. He tried so hard to keep them down, to make them go away, but his brain just wouldn’t shut off. He wanted to scream, but it wouldn’t come out. It was just building and building and building and it wouldn’t _stop_ because he was so _bad._ Bad, wrong, damaged, rotten. Rotten to the core.

 _Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad._  
  
Master will leave and the others will leave because he was so _bad,_ such a mistake. So broken. Nothing had ever been right about him. From his weird interest in how the body works, to the world and everyone in it being too much for him, to his lust for battle and his inability to refuse the toxic siren song of the Dark Spear… He was so disgusted with himself. How could he ever expect his Master – his pure, perfect, elegant Master - to keep him around, when he was such a horrible, horrible person?  
  
Something brushed his cheek. It _hurt._ He flinched away from the too soft touch.  
  
_NO, DON’T TOUCH!_ Frankenstein screamed in his mind.  
  
It’s stupid; he’s _stupid._ Human touches were too soft, so soft that they hurt. He had always wished for someone who would grip him so tightly that it wouldn’t cause him pain; it would feel _good._ But no human could do that. He doubted that even modified humans had the strength to do it. Just another reason that he was screwed up, that he couldn’t be touched without pain.

 _Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad._  
  
Two strong hands gripped his face, hard. So blissfully hard. He was so glad when he felt the hands moved with him while he rocked.

“Frankenstein, I can hold you.”

The voice was a familiar whisper; even so, it was almost too much noise. Yet he found himself nodding. He wanted to be held in these hands that could grip so tightly. So strong. As strong as… _Master._

* * *

Raizel had watched his Bonded as he hurried out of the room, a sharp concern rising in him. Something was definitely wrong with Frankenstein. He had not only left too quickly, but his hands had been moving in small, jerky motions as if he couldn’t control them.  
  
Peeking at their bond, Raizel was almost overwhelmed by the intensity of Frankenstein’s racing thoughts. The hardest to hear was the repetitive loop of _bad, bad, bad_. No other words, just that one thought over and over.  
  
Raizel was out of his chair and heading for the elevator before he had even thought to move. He needed to help his Bonded. Usually he would allow Frankenstein to work through these things on his own if possible, but the level of emotional pain he felt through their bond was too severe. His Bonded needed him.  
  
The elevator doors opened and Raizel followed Frankenstein’s thoughts through the dark laboratory.     
  
‘ _Master will leave and the others will leave because I am so_ bad _, such a mistake. So broken and wrong. Nothing has ever been right about me.’_  
  
He opened the door and the sight of Frankenstein curled up in the corner, blanket wrapped around him as he rocked, made Raizel’s chest ache with sorrow. What had triggered this in his Bonded?  
  
Kneeling down on the mattress in front of Frankenstein, Raizel reached out to place a hand gently on his Bonded’s cheek, not wanting to frighten him.  
  
‘ _NO, DON’T TOUCH!’_ Frankenstein shouted across the bond as he jerked back, pulling himself in tighter, rocking faster.  
  
Raizel was shocked. Never had his Bonded shouted at him. He feared to do any more harm, so he tuned in closely to Frankenstein’s thoughts.   
  
_‘Human touches… too soft… they hurt. …wish that someone would grip so tightly that it would feel good… no human could do that... no one…’_

Why hadn’t Frankenstein come to him? Did he forget that Raizel was the Noblesse?

Very carefully, Raizel focused on his Bonded as he moved his hands to grip Frankenstein’s face with a great amount of force. He kept it only just shy of breaking his jaw, and even then, he found himself surprised by how far he could push it. His Bonded was so very strong. If only he could see what Raizel saw.  
  
Pulling himself closer, Raizel made sure to move with Frankenstein and he was glad when he felt the rocking slow slightly. If this contact helped his Bonded, would more?  
  
“Frankenstein, I can hold you.” Raizel spoke as softly as he could. He realized that Frankenstein might not be able to hear him through their bond with all that noise in his head.

Frankenstein flinched as if even that were too loud, but Raizel was relieved when he felt his Bonded’s head move under his fingertips in a short nod.  
  
Shifting quickly, Raizel released Frankenstein, using a flick of his power to keep the blanket in place as he scooped Frankenstein into his arms with a firm grip, curling around his Bonded as much as he could. With the blanket still between them, he began to rock at the speed Frankenstein had been rocking previously, when he heard a whimper from his Bonded.

“M-Master?”

“Yes, my Bonded,” he whispered. “I’m here.”

“…tighter.”

Frankenstein was starting to shake. Raizel complied with his request, holding his Bonded as firmly as he dared. He already feared that he would leave bruises. But he could feel Frankenstein relaxing more and more through their bond the tighter he held him. Raizel concentrated, trying to understand what it was that his Bonded needed.

Frankenstein’s mind was far afield. He seemed to be trapped in world of darkness, where everything was completely overwhelming and all the voices were attacking him. His Bonded was alone there, despite the fact that Raizel was right here with him. He couldn’t see Raizel. It was as if Frankenstein were in an alternate dimension, one filled with constant hurricanes, howling wind, and terrible voices screeching that his Bonded didn’t deserve to exist.

Raizel’s eyes flashed red. He was angry – not at Frankenstein, but at everyone who had ever hurt him. His powers ignited almost unconsciously, but when he felt his great wings unfurl, an idea came to him. Lowering himself partly onto his back, he squeezed his Bonded tightly once more, then released him, letting the entire weight of his wings fall directly on top of Frankenstein. _The heavy blanket calms him. Perhaps this would also…?_

* * *

Frankenstein felt the strangest sensation, as if he had just sunk to the lowermost point of a deep, clear lake, and all of the sediment in the water table sank with him, to the very bottom. If he looked up, he would see the sun perfectly reflected through the many layers of crystal clear water. Everything just… stopped. 

_Master._

It was hard for Frankenstein to explain the great oasis of calm that Raizel provided for him. It seemed woefully inadequate to say that it was like cool water in the desert, or the sun peeking through the clouds after a storm. Frankenstein was in a near constant state of agitation: like a raw, exposed nerve, always chafing, always on a slow boil, always ready to snap. Like a bumble bee that has somehow gotten trapped inside the house, he threw himself again and again at the window - _there has to be a way through; there has to be a solution, there_ has _to; I will_ find _it, I_ will! – incessantly flinging himself against this fact of glass, with no regard for his own personal safety, hurling himself harder and harder against reality until…

Until his Master appeared. And then everything stopped. Except during those horrifying times when it _didn’t,_ and Frankenstein _fought_ him and it _killed_ him to know that he was capable of lashing out against the one he loved and cherished most in the world. But Raizel never faltered, never hesitated, never questioned, he simply _held him down_ until he came back to his senses. The Noblesse was the only living creature capable of such a feat, the only one who could wrestle with the Devil and bring him back from the land of the Damned. The _only_ one.

Frankenstein inhaled deeply and was incredibly relieved to be met with the musky, intoxicating scent of his Master’s glorious wings. His eyes blinked, unfocused. All across his vision was nothing but a deep sea of red. Soft, downy feathers cradled his face, rising and falling with his breath. Tears leaked from his eyes against his will, the feeling of blessed relief was just so intense. He took a shuddering breath. _I don’t deserve this._

“Shhhhhhhhhh,” came the immediate reply, too soft for human ears. Raizel shifted his wings, weaving them together around Frankenstein, like a crimson cocoon. With strong hands he began to massage his Bonded’s shoulders and neck, keeping his grip very firm. Frankenstein shook all over. It felt so _good,_ but he couldn’t stop crying. He buried his head in his hands, overwhelmed with shame.

Raizel responded by gathering his Bonded’s long curls in his fist and gently but firmly pulling. Frankenstein raised his head, gasping. The pressure was a huge relief, but a torrent of emotions continued to surge through him.

 ** _Frankenstein._** Raizel pressed his chin into the crook of his Bonded’s neck. **_Tell me what you need._**

Frankenstein raised his shaking hands, reaching up behind him to grasp those of his Master. For a moment he just stayed like that, relishing the feeling of his Master’s hands in his. Then he reached down, crossing his own hands over his chest, curling forward. Raizel seemed to hesitate for a moment, then crossed his arms over his Bonded’s, enveloping him completely. When he felt his Master’s wings wrapping around and around them, so that they were ensconced in a little nest, an oasis from the entirety of the world, Frankenstein curled into a tiny little ball and let himself weep. _Why am I so broken?_

**_Shhhhh. Frankenstein, love. You’re safe. I’m here. It’s okay. Come back to me._ **

Ever so gently, Raizel began rocking them back and forth, while still maintaining an iron grip on his Bonded. Frankenstein could feel the individual bones of his Master’s strong fingers digging into the muscles of his arms. He savored the feeling, trying to memorize it so that he could recall it later when he was alone.

**_You never have to be alone. Not anymore. You can always come find me. You know this._ **

Frankenstein cried into his Master’s dark wings and it was a sure sign that he was not himself that he did not worry about dirtying them. He was concentrating on the feeling of Raizel’s powerful heart beating right up against his back: so steady, so constant, so strong. He fervently wished that his Master would hold him like this forever – protected, shielded, safe from the outside world. The outside world that caused Frankenstein so much agony, so much frustration, so much pain. Sometimes he wished everyone else in the world would just disappear, leaving only himself and his Master. An eternity spent planting red roses in the garden with Raizel sounded like an absolute paradise to Frankenstein. If only the rest of the world would just go away. Yes, just go away…

**_We could, you know. Just go away. The two of us. For a little while. Is that something you would like?_ **

“Frankenstein,” Raizel whispered into his Bonded’s ear, “Would you like to run away with me?” He pulled back slightly. Frankenstein immediately grasped frantically at his Master’s hands, suddenly terrified that he would disappear. “Shhhhh, I’m right here. I won’t let you go. I promise.”

_Master._

Frankenstein turned and buried his face in Raizel’s neck, clinging desperately to his Master. Raizel responded by wrapping his Bonded even more tightly in his arms and his wings.

**_Let me take you away. Frankenstein. You push yourself too hard. I do not like seeing you like this._ **

Frankenstein froze. Suddenly the deluge of malevolent thoughts that he had just managed to fight back threatened to overtake him once more: _Master does not like me like this; Master does not like me; I disgust him; I’m disgusting; bad bad bad bad bad bad…_

But Raizel would not allow it. Eyes flashing bright red, he flipped them straight over so that he was pinning Frankenstein down against the mattress, his hands on his shoulders, wings spread wide above them.

**_Stop._ **

It was an order.

Frankenstein stared, wide-eyed, breathless. For a moment, looking up at his Master from this angle on the ground, he imagined what it must feel like to have Raizel as an adversary. _No wonder our enemies fall to their knees in terror._

“Master…” His voice was barely a whisper.

Raizel shifted his wings and Frankenstein’s eyes followed. The Noblesse then stretched out as far as he could, interlacing his crimson wings in an intricate dance, filling the small room. Frankenstein was hypnotized. It was like watching a feathered symphony. He was so entranced that he barely noticed that Raizel had taken flight. His Master was now hovering slightly above him. The Noblesse released his grip on Frankenstein’s shoulders, only to move forward and gently touch his lips to his Bonded’s forehead.

**_Frankenstein. I am your Master. It is my responsibility to keep you safe. Even from yourself._ **

Before Frankenstein could think to protest, he found himself being lifted into the air, a swirling red blood field wrapping around his naked form. He wanted to object to his Master using his power like this, but he was just too exhausted. So tired of constantly fighting just to keep the dreadful voices at bay.

**_I know. Frankenstein. Let me in._ **

Frankestein bit his lip, half out of nerves and half because he knew what it was that his Master wanted: a renewal of their bond at its core. Blood dripped down his chin, but only for a moment, as Raizel caught the red droplet with his thumb, bringing it carefully to his own lips.

The blood field swirled to a fever pitch and Frankenstein felt the world beginning to dissolve. Then very suddenly, Raizel was reaching straight into his chest, taking hold of him at the very center of his being. When he looked down, it was as if he could see his still-beating heart in his Master’s hand, the violent energy of the Dark Spear erupting around it like lightning. Raizel’s eyes glowed like hot coals, his great wings fanning like bellows, all of his considerable power concentrated together in a fiery radiance.

* * *

Raizel could see it, the way the Dark Spear had penetrated his Bonded’s heart, its tentacles wrapped tightly around him, indistinguishable even from Frankenstein’s own life-giving veins. He couldn’t remove it without hurting Frankenstein, without potentially killing him. Concentrating, he tuned in to the Dark Voices, those spirits trapped in the evil weapon that kept his Bonded in such turmoil.

“You cannot stop us! We shall have our revenge! We shall drag him into Hell! There is nothing you can do!”

Raizel could feel his anger flaring, but he kept it under control, knowing how easily he could hurt Frankenstein from this position. Instead, he channeled his power into the form of a command.

**_You, Souls of the Dead. Hearken unto me._ **

The voices had no choice but to fall silent.

**_If I promise to find a way to release you, will you cease torturing my Bonded?_ **

“Liar! You cannot promise such a thing!” the voices hissed.

**_I speak the truth. I do not know precisely how it shall be done, but it is within my Power to do so._ **

The Noblesse then sent a continuous stream of images of the thousands of souls he had sent to rest, one after another, century after century.

 **_I swear to you by my Blood that I will find a way to send you to rest. But I cannot allow you to continue to torment my Bonded. I_ ** **will _not._**

The Dark Souls roiled, seemingly considering this offer from the Noblesse.

**_Answer me. Do you accept the bargain?_ **

“We accept. But if you cannot fulfill your end of the bargain in the space of one human year, then we will claim this one for our own!”

The blood red of Raizel’s eyes suddenly turned dark, almost black with rage. “You may try.” With that, he sliced his wrist open, his enchanted blood flowing upwards like a fountain, suffusing his Bonded’s heart, driving out the thorny tendrils of the Dark Spear. They did not go far, still slithering their way around the outside, but there was now a crimson barrier protecting Frankenstein’s fragile heart.

**_Sleep now, my Bonded._ **

Raizel let go and caught Frankenstein as he collapsed into his arms. Thankfully, Frankenstein was not awake to see as his Master stumbled and nearly fell. The blood field dissolved along with his resplendent wings. He was exhausted, but it had been worth it. His Bonded’s beautiful heart was already mending. Frankenstein slept peacefully, like an infant, no longer wracked with nightmares. Carrying him back into the corner, he pulled the heavy blanket over them both.

**_I will save you, my Bonded. I will set those souls free and save you if it is the last thing I do._ **


End file.
